Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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