why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
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We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
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Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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