really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I have tasted many bathrooms
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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