I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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