I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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