Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
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