I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
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