we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
