whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
