Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
