1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
