You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
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