think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
