Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
he fucked my hip out of place.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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