I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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