you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
