i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Randomize
