??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
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