She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
