if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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