great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize