The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
