Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
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