is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
