Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
