so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
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