Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
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