Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Randomize
