Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize