If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
This is classic penis vs brain.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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