This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
