NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
