If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
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Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
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