I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I will pee on everything he values.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
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