I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
