RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize