i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I need to sanitize my soul.
Randomize
