Sponge bath it is.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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