but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
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