there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
