yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
