I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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