connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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