Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Randomize