He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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