Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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