I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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