I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
