I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
