Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
