Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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