Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
