were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
