So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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