I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
