Have you finally orgasmed yet?
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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