my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I just gift wrapped bread.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Randomize