my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
