We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
