Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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