I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
you will always have a special place in my vag
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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