First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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