Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
