I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
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